All My Friends Are Getting Married!

Published by Subash TS on

Marriage, all my friends are doing it.

Do you feel rage?

When your mother says ‘you’re 25’ like the human mortality averages at 30, do you feel rage?

When your grandmother uses her own death as a coercive technique for you to tie the knot, do you feel rage?

You want marriage to be the last topic of conversation, but your friends are all getting married. Facebook is now covered with crisp pictures filled with smiles and you want a little piece of that.

That my friend is, is a mixture of false advertising and years of conditioning.

Rage not.

As animals, we can identify with procreation being the purpose of life, our only way to leave something behind. But animals, we no longer are.

We have evolved. Our reach has expanded. We can now be two places at once, riding waves in the air we cannot see. A tiny spec we might be, but our might has grown and our purpose too.We have begun reaching beyond stars to find another world just like the one we once had. We have poisoned our earth in our misguided exploitation, but we ourselves are now the anti-venom.

Our purpose is large, and procreation is the least of our priorities.

Now, not to belittle those that have tied the knot.

It is never said that all these and more cannot be achieved by two of you together. For a collective purpose, two is better than one. But the point is, it should be a choice YOU make, irrespective of other factors. Societal pressures, least of all.

Given the current scenario, it is still difficult to be a woman. Marriage in many stories is not the beautiful thing it is meant to be. It is the beginning of a long dark tunnel.

If you get married because you met a person who shares your purpose, you will pave the way for people around you to derive confidence from your act and a chain you would have started.

As more and more people believe in marriage being a personal choice, unrelated to age, sex, caste. Marriage will be a thing it is meant to be. A celebration, when two people with a collective purpose come together.

Look through the https://bigfday.com/blog/the-evolution-of-marriage/ to explore more.

An line from an ancient Sanskrit text, Manusmruti  says “Where women are honored, divinity blooms, and where women are dishonored, all action, no matter the nobility, remains unfruitful.” What it said about women who form 49% of our 1.2 Billion populations is ever so important today. With marriage given as much importance, what is to be said about the 71.4 million single women in India. From 2001 to 2011 there has been an increase of 21.9 million single women. A large part of it is made up of the increasing divorce rates.

Between 2001 and 2011 there was an increase of 39% in the number of single women from 51.2 to 71.4 million, according to census data. The data includes widows, divorcees and unmarried women, and those deserted by husbands.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to be ready for marriage. In fact, there is much you could gain.

Time To Understand Yourself.

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Knowing and understanding yourself before tying the knot is essential to a happy married life. Many people jump into marriage without understanding their own identity. They simply miss out on the chance to make independent decisions to discover their own ideas and beliefs. Taking time to understand all of this can give a person a clear idea of what life they believe to be ideal.

Building Independent Perspectives Before Marriage

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Human perspectives keep changing with age. As we age, are thought process tends to be more defined as we gain different perspectives from experience. What we enjoyed in our teens might not interest us in our mid-twenties. All that we did in our mid-twenties looks crazy to us when in our thirties. Being able to gain independent experiences is important for the inner growth of a person. It helps him/her deal with marriage in a more mature way. Getting married ‘late’ means allowing yourself to grow and adapt and be prepared for a new life and all it brings along.

Freedom Is Yours

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Marriage and responsibilities have had a long endured tenure. Responsibilities that need to be done with dedication all through life. Many a time the weight of the responsibilities become a routine and can start to take steps towards boredom. Waiting to get married will give you that extra time to enjoy your freedom. Make choices that are not clouded by responsibilities or other such factors. You can make a choice without being bothered by any other factors but that you want to enjoy it.

Maturity & Wisdom Are The Holding Pillars Of Marriage

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It is said that ‘maturity does not come with age, it comes with experience’. At the same time, it is also true that we become more experienced as we age. Experience enables us to learn a lot about life and take decisions that are more mature and backed by realistic expectations. We understand what it takes to maintain a relationship and what we are looking for in a marital life.

Better Prepared For The Future

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Getting married later is a great boon in building a financially secure future. After marriage, career does become of secondary importance, which could lead to unexpected financial circumstances. Smart people make use of the time before choosing a life partner to focus on future goals and establishing themselves in a career of their passion. This enables individuals to secure themselves with a good bank balance and ensure a better chance at happiness and financial stability.

India houses one of the largest proportions of population in the younger age groups in the world. 41% of our population are less than 18 years of age and 45% of the population is married and this includes the people below marriageable age. 

Make of this what you will. But heed this, that there is more to you and your purpose here.
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